Ever feel like a ball of play dough? If I were to describe myself at the moment, that would be it, a fresh new peice of play dough that is no longer sitting round and unshaped in its container. Instead, I’m in God’s hands being smashed, kneaded, pulled apart, and reshaped. In this new season of motherhood, there are several things reshaping my heart, my view of motherhood and God. Cheyenne’s diagnosis of Aspergers squeezed everything I knew about God in my heart. Then there’s a new development in my son’s behaviors, which is leading us down a familiar road of A.D.H.D., all the while, I’m trying to balance my writing career, on top of juggling the mommy domestic dailies and the new behavior and learning issues of my first two kids.
God is using all these circumstances to tug and pull me into the shape He wants me to be, and here I thought motherhood was about raising kids. In reality, God is using motherhood to shape me. He is using my children to bring to the surface areas that need His hands. He is molding me because I need Him. We all need Him. If we are willing to place ourselves in His hands, count on God molding, shaping and reshaping you into the design He intended. Tricia Goyer’s book title caught my eye, the book Blue Like Play Dough: the shape of motherhood in the grip of God says it all. It speaks volumes to my heart in one sentence. Though I haven’t read the book yet, I can imagine how God used motherhood to shape her heart as well.
In a way we all are like balls of play dough and God is asking us if we want to be shaped for His design. It’s up to us to bring our insecurities, our worries, our perceptions to Him. In the process of life, He will use our children as His hands to do the shaping. It comes through the sleepless nights, insisting on whats best for your toddler and so much more. He will use diangosis’ of disorders to tugg our hearts into the direction He wants us to lead. Though sometimes it’s painful, He alone sees the finished design.