Heather Riggleman

Living Bold Truths through Raw Faith.

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Bold truths and raw faith

November 10, 2017 By Heather

Bold truths and raw faith

 

Photo by Killian Pham on Unsplash

Boldness has taken an interesting turn since childhood. As a girl growing up in the desert, being bold meant facing off with the rivers of flash floods. Or when I was in seventh grade, I punched a boy in the face for picking on my brother.

 I’m finding I’m not the same girl in my thirties like I was when I was seven or twelve. Somewhere between marriage, entering the work force and motherhood, I became less ardent to risk and clung more to safety. I hung back instead of moving forward. I camouflaged and tried to match magazine covers, only I didn’t realize it. I thought was bold and brave and strong, until I faced an incredible period of loss, pain and change.

Recently, I found myself sitting my counselor’s office when she posed the question,

 “What do you need to do to get the old Heather back. The one who everyone says is strong and bold? She’s still in there.”

I was at a loss. I searched to find her in all the old things I used to be and do, but I came up empty. I had been persuaded that God didn’t care about me. I believed the lie I had nothing else to offer. I was actually afraid to go to God, because I didn’t know what his future held for me. But going to him was the key. 

“You’re hiding from me. You’re hiding from yourself,” I hear him whisper. “Be brave, be bold, take courage.” 

I smirk and roll my eyes at the God Most High and question, “How am I supposed to do that?” 

And then I sense it, Do the very next thing. One small step, pursue me. Live for me.   

Alone and face down in the carpet, I stretched my spiritual muscles and offered a weak prayer. 

I sat up and opened my Bible to one of my favorite verses when the opposite page caught my eye. The word purpose jumped off the page.

There in the middle of Isaiah was the answer. 

“I am the Lord. I have called you for a righteous purpose, and I will hold you by your hand. I will watch over you.” Isaiah 42:6

What if the life you really want and the future God wants for you is hiding in the midst of your pain, your problems or your worst failure? What if being bold isn’t chasing lions but pursuing God with all out abandonment? The goal of faith is NOT the elimination of risk. 

But here’s the thing, if you choose not to risk, you’ll sacrifice your dreams and achievements; not only for yourself but for his glory. You’ll freeze any opportunity for God’s glory to work through you.  If we aren’t careful, we chase beautiful things; good things, like family, career, and ministry;  we end up trading our time with him for worldly things and it takes audaciousness to pursue him above all else.  

I pulled out my journal and began to write a declaration; a manifesto of what it means to live boldly for God. And I knew once I finished writing it, I would never go back to living the way I was before. I want the next 36 years of my life count for his purpose. I want to live bold truths through raw faith. 

I don’t know what my younger self would’ve thought of my black mascara tears but I do think she would be proud of the declaration that is now hanging on my mirror. 

 

A bold woman is a warrior at heart – tempered in strength and humility.

She lives from sun up to sun down through bold truths and raw faith.

Her hands hold the world together fleshing out audacious beauty in her daily life.

A bold women is filled with gratitude for God’s good gifts.

Her heart beats to the measure of her Creator with sacrificial devotion.

Her identity is rooted in her Savior.

She performs only for an audience of One and doesn’t seek reassurance from human opinion.

She has the power to illuminate and inspire because she lives and moves under the power of the Holy Spirit.

She willing to battle for a worthy cause.

A bold woman lets nothing move her except the love of her God.

 

 

Filed Under: Blog, Bold, Chasing Perfect, Communication, Encouragement, Faith, Faithful Moms, God, Let's Talk About Prayer Devotional Challenge, Mama's Reflections, Real Life Issues, The Real Mom, Women Tagged With: bold, bold truths, Brave, Chasing Perfect, christian living, Faith, inspirational living, raw faith, women Leave a Comment

The Tribe that Built Me

March 20, 2017 By Heather

The Tribe that Built Me

We gather once a week. We circle up, each sharing the latest news, anecdotes about work, life, and kids. At one point, Cindy nicknamed our group The Tribe and it’s sort of stuck. If you’re part of a church you may know them by a different name, like life groups, small groups, or community groups. At first we were strangers but as we gather weekly, our stories become threads that weave into each other’s lives. These strangers are now my people. My truth tellers, my warriors, my problem solvers and middle of the night callers. This is my built in family.
This is the tribe that built me.
When I first met this group of women, I was a cynic. Past relationships with women were filled with land mines and battle scars but my life had become dry and barren. As a working mom I would have days that would go on for a life time.
I never made it out the door with matched socks and the kids were always late. It didn’t help my case when my kids would tell their teachers they were late because of my “drinking problem.” My problem is that I don’t function before at least three cups of coffee in the mornings. Try explaining that to your children’s teachers while wearing visibly mis-matched socks. I tell them, it’s still a thing.
And there’s only so much talking I could do with my kids and husband. The guy loves me but not when I try to use up all 40,000 words of things I need to say. Some of he doesn’t get. And really who can blame the guy when I want to talk about the magnitude of choosing the right paint color to create a warm home. And the kids? They didn’t understand the pressure to pick the right shade of green but rather they told me to pick the color of grass green and move on.
So when I was invited to join this group of women, I imagined tortuous moments of stale tiny sandwiches and dissecting the book of Judges which would likely put me to sleep.
But what I found was a group of women all new to each other and the conversations became battering ram revelations that began to take down the fortress around my life. We talked about love and hope, parenting and marriage, redemption and miracles.
The expectations I had about friendships began to change as I came face to face with the real kind. It turns about behind the idea of real community are real life women willing to link arms and do life together if you let them. But that’s the thing, the secret to having a friend is being a friend. The secret to being accepted is acceptance and the secret to getting past someone’s defenses is taking down your own.
This, for me, has been the challenge: to boldly welcome others into the mess that is me. The chance to find real community is to be the real me.
Why don’t we believe that? We insist to our kids they can be loved by being their beautiful selves; but then why do we tell our grown up selves in order to be liked and loved, we have to be the most interesting, the most successful, or the most beautiful? Maybe the surest way to build friendships is to take a deep breath and plunge into the mess.
These days, my tribe and I do life together, we pick each other up when life throws curve balls like the sex talk in fourth grade, when a spouse announces divorce, or when we lament at $500 bill because we hit the trash can backing out of the drive way or we’ve been so busy doing and being and living that we have no clue what it’s like to be our real selves, so we rally for a girls night out.
But that’s a risk right? It’s to risk sharing life, being real. It’s vulnerability. It’s brave.

Heather Riggleman is a child of the Mid-West and a coffee addict without a recovery plan. She is a full-time mother of three, author, and journalist. She is learning to accept the mess after chasing perfect for too many years.
heather.riggleman@kearneyhub.com
@HeatherRig

Filed Under: Chasing Perfect, Kearney Hub, Kearneyhub Column, Mom to Mom, Women, Working Mom, Worship Tagged With: Brave, Church, community, courage, friendships, Life Groups, Lioness Arising, Motherhood, Small Groups, Tribes, women Leave a Comment

2 Ways to Flourish Abundantly This Summer

May 29, 2015 By Heather

2 Ways to Flourish Abundantly This Summer

“I can’t do this. I’m currently cleaning my house from top to bottom.”

The little circles on my phone bubbled indicating my friend–a life saver had gotten my text was texting me back.

“Wanna go for a run?”

I breathed deep. Her message translated to this, “You are not alone. You can get through this. I’m here in this moment with you.” Tomorrow was the big day. The race. A moment in time where I would forever be defined by finishing or not finishing the race. All of the training, 4 months of early mornings, late nights, the 4:45 a.m. morning runs, the strained muscles and sore toe nails. All of it was coming down to this one defining moment. As a perfectionist and frequent “screwed that up” person, I was scared and my friend–this other woman became an anchor. 

I’ve had a lot of those moments lately. Moments where I doubt myself and wonder if I am really the best mom for my kids or hate myself for going off the deep end when my husband makes a remark about my chubby thighs. But lately I find myself more scared than not because I’m peeling off the layers of Facebook perfected statues and replacing “I’m fine” with “I’m okay, I did ______ yesterday, ugh!” 

And here’s what I’m finding, I’m beginning to flourish. Life tastes sweet with a little salt. 

You see, when I open myself up, when I am real and willing to be barefaced, I extend grace to the person in my presence. We all desire to be connected.

We all long to be drenched in grace, connected, and live at a rich sustainable level of life with others. This happens when we say the real things, do the real things.

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C.S. Lewis once wrote, Don’t shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him. I believe when we are real, when we extend the hand of grace in friendships we truly represent God. 

It’s so easy to wear ourselves out, especially in the summer. Kids are home and we find ourselves in the midst of playdates, “Mom I’m bored” conversations, multitasking work projects with laundry. We become weary. We think someone else has it all together. We paint our faces and respond with, “I’m fine, how are you.” 

Our souls become divided and our attention is split. I don’t want regret today, this summer or this year. I want to abundantly flourish and I can by doing two simple things: 

1. Be present. Choose present over mult-tasking. Choose present over perfect.

2. Open my heart and connect where I am, as I am with the women around me. This is my community. This is my church. And this is where you can thrive too. 

So each morning before my feet touch the floor. Before I hug my children, before I go to work. I pray this: 

Make me a safe place Lord. Make me a haven for lonely and a sanctuary for the seeking. Lighten my heart with laughter and may the law of kindness be ever on my tongue. Strengthen my arms with gentleness and open my arms wide for the treasures of your kingdom. Open my hands with love and still my soul to be present. When I am in the community, make me a refuge where the fallen may rise and rest may be found. Let me NOT define others by the dirt on their lives or the scars on their hearts. Instead, make me bold to reveal the scars on my heart to create a bridged haven. May I be anchor where confession unites us and conversation restores our souls. May I choose to open the doors to my heart and home so others can flourish. 

What about you? Is there someone in your life you can trust with the small confessions and the things? 

How are you choosing to flourish this summer? 

Heather Riggleman When we say the real things

 

 

 

Filed Under: Encouragement, Faith, Family, Slider, The Real Mom, Women Tagged With: Brave, community, Flourish, MOPS, Motherhood 1 Comment

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