Tears streamed down my face as I came to grips of what my life had seemingly become. I took stock of reality and quietly let go of my dreams as I wondered, how can God use a broken woman, a mom of three kids who works part time at a retail store, who has a little blog in big wide world of the internet, who doesn’t know God wants anymore, who can’t dig her way out of this pit?
After listening to my thoughts, understanding the full weight of my limitations and feelings of broken insignificance, I think God must have chuckled at my dismay because he turned my attention to the story of Jesus feeding “The Four Thousand.”
In Matthew 15, the people had been with him for three days and He was worried about their physical needs for nourishment when He asked His disciples to take stock of the food among the crowd. Jesus already knew how much food was available but He makes sure his disciples sees the limited circumstances when he asks, How many loaves do you have?”
Like me, his disciples could only see a great need against what they had to offer with “Seven loaves and a few small fish,” on the scale of need for four thousand men among women and children. But here is what catches my breath, Jesus took the small amount of food lifting it up to the father in thankfulness before breaking it. “Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls and broken pieces that were left over.” Matthew 15:37.
Jesus created beauty in the breaking as he multiplied the scant offering of a seven loaves and a few small fish.
Do you feel small and insignificant under the weight of the needs in your life?
As mothers we carry the burden and weight of raising Godly kids. We groan with anxiety and worry against the needs our children have through choices they make, the need of instilling God’s word against the pull of the world.
As women, we feel the ache of being created for a purpose and fall to our knees under the weight where God has placed us.
We take stock of our gifts, dreams, abilities, circumstances and burdens; weighing it against our situation–only to give up because we think God can’t possibly have a purpose for us. We look within knowing there are places so crushed and fragmented within us, we fear our splintered reality keeps God from wanting us.
Yet, these broken places is what God wants. In the cracks, chips and crevices of our souls is where his glory shines through in our lives! Whether or not we come from:
A broken home
A broken past
A broken marriage
A single mom broken from a painful relationship
A broken body
A broken and weak will
A broken heart
A faith shattered and broken
Finances broken to the point of bankruptcy
Broken and damaged children
Your Honest to Goodness Reality
Little mama, I’m standing in the trenches with you. I’m hugging you and wiping your sweet tears with my hands while I cup your chin to hold your attention. I want you to hear me so clearly that this moment will resonate in your soul forever as a focal point–the moment when you stand on His promises and run straight for him. Because he is ready–waiting.
Hear me when I say:
God wants you, His Son is interceding for you. As you offer your life, your gifts, your dreams–even your brokenness, Jesus takes it and turns from your sweet face to our Father God. He lifts up your brokenness and whispers His gratitude. He thanks God for your life. He whispers thankfuls over your offering. God sees that it is good as He multiplies your abilities, gifts, talents, and dreams for His purpose. You and I don’t need to know or understand how He is going to use it, we only need to know one thing: He WANTS TO USE IT. He wants US to be a part of HIS STORY.
And this sweet mama is the taste of God’s glory, his victory reflecting in your life as you surrender all…because you surrender to a God who surrendered everything for us.
The most beautiful part – you and I become whole as God uses our brokenness, pouring out our offerings for his glory. We make the beautiful exchange.
“I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:24-25 ESV
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