Dear Teenage Son: Be Patient While I Let Go

And I’m recognizing the signs. I’ve done this once before with your sister. She’s twenty-one now and on her own. Even back then, I wasn’t ready. And I thought it would be easier the second time around. But feels so new and fresh again. I can’t find my feet and I feel so wobbly. 

It’s time to let go and I’m not ready. But you are. That’s the way of motherhood. Letting go when we don’t want to. I know it’s time. I know you’re growing and becoming. 

And sometimes it’s hard for you but more for me; oh darling, hear me out. 

For years, I never wanted kids. I didn’t want to be tied down. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to see the dreams in my heart come to life. I didn’t want to give up my freedom. But, then I dreamed about you. 

Of Fig Leaves, Christmas Letters and The Mafia

What if you and I could focus on the meaning of this time of year instead of the shame we carry over the mistakes and mishaps our family has encountered. As moms, it’s our jobs to make our family look good. As moms, we’re the ones who sway others with our stories and words. And we’ve lost the ability to be real, to share our hurts and joy. Somehow we’ve lost our identity and we face the shame our families aren’t perfect.