What was supposed to be two weeks of COVID-19 shutdown, has now turned into an unpredictable season. Now, an end to social distancing doesn’t seem to be anytime soon. It’s been more than a year and they say we will be back to normal this fall–nearly two years gone. After spending time apart in social…
As I sat in Jessica’s office she could already observe the medication she had prescribed for my anxiety was making a difference. “I didn’t know life could be this way. I don’t panic about my kids playing outside in the front yard. I’m not terrorized by racing thoughts at night. I don’t feel like I’m…
Welcome to the mother ‘hood’: Where you will forever be chasing how to be a better mom. Motherhood is a place where you have no control over anything. The time and day no longer matter. Your purse has officially become a dumpster fire. Showering is optional, coffee is not. Sleep will be nonexistent for the next 18 years, and everyone will have an opinion on how you handle the hood. You will repeat yourself a hundred times just to get shoes on. You will never get to pee alone again and now you get to cross your legs when you sneeze.
This should be the official welcome declaration that is read in the tone of the Miranda Rights to every new mother as she waddles to the bathroom in her hospital mesh underwear just after birth.
At some point you’ll lose yourself.
I know I did, deep in the trenches of motherhood, being a wife, being an employee and everything in between.
I even lost myself to an illness that blindsided me.
You really want to focus on the things that are important. You really want to spend time with God. But with everything you’ve got going on, you’re just not sure how to make that happen! You’re busy, overwhelmed, and what you really want is to HEAR GOD’S VOICE AND FOLLOW HIS LEAD
As I wandered from room to room, feeling the cool breeze on my skin, I realized marriage sometimes feels like this house. Familiar, comfortable, yet tight and wholly uncomfortable. And the very idea of opening a door to my husband feels like a vulnerable and risky move. Keeping the storm windows shut feels like a much safer venture. Especially after a fight or misunderstanding or hurt feelings. Keeping everything sealed feels much softer. During times of conflict our hearts close up, it curls itself into a tight ball. A closed heart is stuffed with selfishness, faulty assumptions, and judgement.