What was supposed to be two weeks of COVID-19 shutdown, has now turned into an unpredictable season. Now, an end to social distancing doesn’t seem to be anytime soon. It’s been more than a year and they say we will be back to normal this fall–nearly two years gone. After spending time apart in social…
As I sat in Jessica’s office she could already observe the medication she had prescribed for my anxiety was making a difference. “I didn’t know life could be this way. I don’t panic about my kids playing outside in the front yard. I’m not terrorized by racing thoughts at night. I don’t feel like I’m…
“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…” We have all hummed this catchy little tune a time or two. It is based on Matthew 5:16. Jesus had just finished healing thousands and giving us the gift of the eight beatitudes. Jesus wasn’t talking about making sure we turned on our porch lights at night. He was talking about letting the Holy Spirit shine brightly within us. The Holy Spirit is sent to each believer to dwell with us. This “glow” means the light within you is how you allow yourself to be led by the Holy Spirit.
That’s right kids. The yeses will build your dreams, your confidence, your income, and your career. The noes will build your character. The noes will teach you to look for an open window when there is no open door. The noes will teach you how valuable your voice really is.
The noes will show who believe in you and your abilities.
The noes will test your resolve.
The noes will test your patience.
The noes will push you to dig deep.
The noes will teach you fear is a reaction.
The noes will teach you courage is a decision.
The noes will make you feel insignificant and unworthy, but my darlings, you are.
The noes will teach you wisdom and build your faith.
The noes will teach you the goodness of life lies in risk taking.
Welcome to the mother ‘hood’: Where you will forever be chasing how to be a better mom. Motherhood is a place where you have no control over anything. The time and day no longer matter. Your purse has officially become a dumpster fire. Showering is optional, coffee is not. Sleep will be nonexistent for the next 18 years, and everyone will have an opinion on how you handle the hood. You will repeat yourself a hundred times just to get shoes on. You will never get to pee alone again and now you get to cross your legs when you sneeze.
This should be the official welcome declaration that is read in the tone of the Miranda Rights to every new mother as she waddles to the bathroom in her hospital mesh underwear just after birth.
At some point you’ll lose yourself.
I know I did, deep in the trenches of motherhood, being a wife, being an employee and everything in between.
I even lost myself to an illness that blindsided me.