I didn’t make my goal this week. Instead of getting back into the world two days after my surgery (D and C), I was relieved and thankful that a friend scooped up my kids while I fell back asleep. Life seems to be moving on, where as I keep finding myself in bed sleeping.
    As frustrated as I am that I am not doing the things I want to be doing, I need to remind myself that my body went through a birth and trauma. The only difference is there is no little one to hold to make me forget the awful moments, and everyone else seems to think that I’ve had enough time grieving.
   I’m learning this process is different for everyone. Some are more connected to their belly-babes than others. Still others think because I miscarried, the pain should be gone almost instantly and that I ought to focus on the three babes I have now. I’m afraid if I move forward that everyone will forget about our baby, it will be as if he never were expected–though I know it’s not true. We all have our ways of remembering and needing to move forward.
    It’s a process, it’s different for every mother. As women with the common thread of motherhood, we need to honor one another in the aspect of grieving for a miscarriage. It’s essentially a miscarried life and with that life–dreams, plans, and a future awaited. Instead, it’s gone, tucked away inside our minds with the dreams we had.
    Today I leave you with my favorite song. It has spoken more to my heart in this process than anything else could have. He is helping me remember that He is for me, that He is with me. In my darkest moments, He is faithful and there, even when I’m not ready to move forward…but it’s time.

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