So allow me to really transparent, but before I go ANY further, I’d like to say to my parents and in-laws…”DON’T READ ANY FURTHER, trust me!”
|Real romance is commitment to love one another in the midst of toys, stretchmarks, and kids.|
Turn That Crock Pot On–Early
My husband and I attended a marriage conference several years ago and I loved how they described the differences between men and women. Men are like bottlerockets and can go from 0-to-I-want-you-in a matter of 60 seconds. Women were described as crock pots.
Try not to be insulted but it’s the truth. It takes hours for us to simmer up to a romantic night in the bedroom. Crock pots have all the ingredients inside, a dash of this, a bit of spice from that. All we do is put the lid on, crank it on high and we know by the end of the day, we have a wonderful meal in store.
Marriage and sex is pretty much the same. As we simmer, we think of how wonderful our mate is. And when it comes to rolling in the sheets, we need to turn the crock pot on the night before. I usually schedule sex nights and when I see it on my calendar, I start planning our time together. I give him hints with text messages, a sexy hug, or giving him the “I want you” look.
If you know that tonight is going to be the night, think of all the romantic things your husband has done over the years, text him and tell him you cant wait to see him that night.
That’s right girls, we have to talk about it. Some of us don’t have the drive, desire or willingness to turn from Mother Teresa to Hot Mama in the bedroom and that’s okay. TALK to your husband about it. You may be drained from rearing your little ones all day. But it shouldn’t stop you from being with your husband.
Talk to him about what makes your heart flutter and remind him to act on it to help that crock pot simmer. When I was visiting my friend Angela, her husband had left her post-it notes for her to find and read. My husband sends me text messages that reminding me of how much he loves me. Maybe, you like holding hands, having him make supper, bring flowers. What ever it is, tell your husband! For women, its the little things that get us simmering and in the mood.
Honey Mooning at Home
Many of us are living on one income. That means every penny counts, but doesn’t have to stop date night. We use several options and try to get alone every week, that’s right, every week. Here’s my list:
- Make Annie’s Mac N Cheese for your little ones and put them to bed early.
- Create a meal for the two of you, complete with candle light.
- Ask your in-laws to watch your kids and go back home for date night.
- Log on to Ruby Tuesday’s for their Buy One Get One Free meal deals.
- Child Swap with another couple. You watch their kids one night and then they watch yours.
Once a month, my husband cooks an amazing gourmet dinner, puts the kids to bed early, draws me a bath and creates an romantic oasis in our bedroom (sounds exotic, he makes sure its clean and free of kid debris, and puts a scarf over the lamp to create softer lighting).
|He gets annoyed that I have to document every date night with a picture. Can you tell? 🙂|
3 thoughts on “Keeping The Marriage Bed Red Hot In Motherhood”
Wow, great post, its so hard with kids to keep the romance alive. So I try to tell my husband through my words and actions how much I respect and love him. Sometimes a big chocolate cake and putting the kids to be early helps. Brendi
Love it, Heather! I so want to have date night once a week. But really how is that ever realistic with young kids?! Unless you have a lot to shell out for money for a baby sitter. And I don't want to take advantage of family. More realistic is putting kids to bed early but that would not happen in our house, either. Ugghh!
I caution the once a week, its important to try and get alone at least once a week, whether you lock your bedroom door and ignore the fingers wedging under it! With wee ones, yes it can be hard and is a challenge, do what works for you and your husband!