Lately I have been going through a lot of emotions over the past, especially since a few old faces showed up on my door when I least expected it. I felt myself being drawn back in time, wishing that I didn’t have to fight this daily battle for control to be who I want to be. These friends think the life that we are living now is full of chains compared to the past. I don’t see chains, rules, or boundaries. If we truly chose to live the life intended, it will be hard, only because we are fighting our flesh. The harder the fight, the greater the reward that I can lay at my Savior’s feet. There is a freedom that is unexplainable..I have never been more free than who I am today as a broken spirit.

Anyhow here are the thoughts that have been rolling around in my head ever since I ran into some old friends. Its a good warning as to why we are to take our thoughts captive. It’s also a reminder we must choose daily to center our lives around the scriptures that bring healing, control, and dependence on Him.

      Memories Past
Inside these four walls, she lives the American Dream
with a man whose heart is honorable and true
And living for her Savior who kept her skin from turning cold and blue.
With a fire burning in her heart.
He repairs what her own hands tore apart.
He wiped away her tears and gave her back her life
He healed the wounds in her body
From one of the many
who ran away with her innocence.
And from
the others who left her for dead.
He healed the scars on her heart
and what this world tried to tear apart.
He took the desire of the razor’s edge that came with pain of the past
And told her to call, said He would always be there
Told her to always be aware of her weaknesses and his snare.
So she walked the line, and left it all behind.
She see’s a face of memories past
and what comes flooding back, all those empty moments not meant to last.
It had been a long time since she saw his face or felt his embrace
And tells her, “Lets get together, and reminisce of things past
of the good times we had.
 Of all the parties, the nights out, the good and the bad.”
Staring at his face, brings back moments past, a hollow
love, a friendship, not meant to last. And reminds her of how she felt after.
These memories past wage battle in her mind
with false feelings, moments, and the drugs that were her captor.
As her mind threatens to lose control and threatens to break
the spirit of her soul.
He takes her back in time to the bottom of a bottle
surrounded by empty vessels heading to a dead end in their dance,
full throttle.
He reminds her of moments past,
none meant to last.
She cries out but hears no reply,
So she clings to the words her God left behind
As her mind threatens to lose control and threatens to break
the spirit of her soul.
She yearns to be free of the past
of the addiction in a glass.
And remembers how to she looked to him for comfort and a friend.
He tells her, “Have another. It’ll be alright.”
Yet the morning after dawns its early light
Another unwilling piece of her was lost in the night
Memories past, hollow moments not meant to last.
On her knees she cries out, but hears no reply
It’s time for testing
A time for refining, a time in the desert.
What master will she serve?
As these memories and cravings for a glass take their toll
My mind threatens to break the spirit of my soul
My faith is that the end of the road
as if walking on broken glass
I lose all sense of control.
The pain weighs out the pride.
I cry out, but I hear no reply.
I can’t feel You by my side
But I will cling to the words You left me
and chose the life You intended for me.
And trust that You will fight this battle for me
and free me from the moments past.

One thought on “Memories Past”

  1. It is so hard at times to "leave the past behind and to strain for what is ahead". My mind doesn't need tweeked, my heart doesn't need tweeked. As Beth Moore said, we need a full blown transformation. Love so much!

    Angela

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