Ever been in one of those seasons where you’ve been stripped of everything? Every once of strength, dignity, respect and peace? Nothing is the same–not even your routine. This upheaval causes everything dammed within your soul to surface, spilling out and leaving you breathless.
It may be exactly where God wants you. We move through life so content like a peaceful river. When turbulence hits, we shake our heads wondering why God is allowing any of it to happen. My dear little mama, life is tough, it’s messy. There is no right side to it. Instead it’s a kaleidoscope of angles, each jagged, rough and doesn’t make sense.
That’s where I was the other day. I was pushed beyond my limits, hurt by the callousness of a colleague and at a loss of losing a friend to the darkness she had been fighting. Add to that, all three kids being in three new schools and a scary financial situation, you can pretty much guess where I was. Like Peter, I had stepped out of the boat but the second I took my eyes off Jesus life’s doubts weighed me down, I was sinking.
And Jesus extended his hand to keep me from drowning in the most unexpected way. An acquaintance whom I pestered over four years ago for an endorsement sent me an email:
Hi Heather,
You have been in my heart and prayers.
Praying for you,
Lisa
Shocked and utterly astounded, I replied asking how she knew I needed to hear that.
God knew. Keep on His path, following His way. He will lead and He will provide.
Sending blessings and gentle hugs,Lisa
My friend, in moments like this, God wants to shake off the callousness of our hearts and draw us closer to him. In that moment we are all like Katy Perry in her lyrical song Wide Awake (Don’t bother with the rest of her music ;-)).
Our eyes are riveted to our heavenly Father, our hearts waiting for his healing. He gives us his perspective, his light–and when we look again through the lens of our kaleidoscope, its brilliant. We suddenly see why our hearts were torn in one area–only to be molded more into his likeness. We understand why that particular friendship ended and the reason we had to endure a the cold uncaring words of a co-worker. We may be shaken.
Fall, whatever may–it was hindering our hearts from Jesus in the first place.
Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Romans 8:26-28.