Welcome to the mother ‘hood’: Where you will forever be chasing how to be a better mom. Motherhood is a place where you have no control over anything. The time and day no longer matter. Your purse has officially become a dumpster fire. Showering is optional, coffee is not. Sleep will be nonexistent for the next 18 years, and everyone will have an opinion on how you handle the hood. You will repeat yourself a hundred times just to get shoes on. You will never get to pee alone again and now you get to cross your legs when you sneeze.
This should be the official welcome declaration that is read in the tone of the Miranda Rights to every new mother as she waddles to the bathroom in her hospital mesh underwear just after birth.