Beauty is as beauty does
Yes–that’s typed correctly, no missing words or incomplete thoughts here. As a matter of fact, the more I think about that phrase, the more I realize the potential it has. A very close friend of mine, recently decided it was time to follow Jesus. With that being said, she walked away from several trainwrecked relationships. All of her past boyfriends either cheated on her with another woman, or she caught her them with porn.
You’re probably thinking, “Um, Heather, sounds like a juicy story, but what’s this got to do with me being a mom?” EVERYTHING! Our culture has lost site of what real beauty is. It’s up to us to look in the mirror and understand how God defines beauty, and stop playing the media game. One of the reasons why my dear friend was so beat down is because she found her groom-to-be with pictures of porn on his phone. She was devastated. She wanted to be everything to him, yet she was hurt because she knows she could never compete with what her fiance saw on those sites.
Real beauty isn’t what we adorn ourselves with, how perfectly shaped our hips or breasts are, or how perfect our bodies look. Real beauty comes from within. Real beauty comes from spending time with God. It becomes a reflection from within, pouring out of our spirits.
Rage Against The Cosmo
One real beauty recently caught my eye. She used to be a Victoria’s Secret Model until she had her own personal chat with Jesus. That conversation led to her life mission of defining real beauty to teen girls. In the meantime, she is calling all hands to sign her petition against Cosmo magazine because of their graphic sexual content and because they are purposefully marketing it to thirteen year old girls. You can view her site and petition here: www.projectinspired.com.
Have you ever had your three year old daughter stare intently at these magazines covers, then as if she is comparing herself, she pulls up her shirt and pats her tummy? My baby girl mimics all that I do, all that I say, and even wears my shoes. Girls are relational and want to be a part of what everyone else is a part of. That means, she is constnatly looking for input of whether or not she fits in, whether or not she is normal.
Stop Playing Their Game
Even though your girls are little, you can begin teaching them now. Here’s a few tips of what I do with my girls.
- When you see a cover like Cosmo, talk about it. “Do you think she really feels special in that kind of outfit?”
- Teach your girls about modesty. It will encourage them to define what real beauty is, and not based on how sexy her clothes are.
- If your girls are still little, do the study, Secret Keeper’s.
- Play dress up with your girls and remind them they were created beautifully and there is no other girl in the world just like them.
- Take them shopping, help them express who they are with thier fashion. Teach them that fashion is based on whether or not it pleases God.
- Use the hand rule. If you’re judging whether a shirt is too revealing, place your hand on your chest with your thumb right in the middle of our collarbone. Your shirt should be at the bottom portion of your hand. What about those shorts? Shorts need to go past your finger tips.
- Begin teaching your little girls about modesty with their swim suits. The Riggleman girls do not sport Bikini’s.
- Talk to them about the opposite sex when the time is appropriate, remind them how men are visually wired. Even though it’s a man’s responsibility not to look at a woman inappropriately, we can help our men by not dressing in ways that would suggest otherwise.
What do you do to teach your daughters that beauty comes from within? When did this realization hit you about yourself? With the help of friends and a pastor, my sweet friend is making progress of healing her heart, and so is her fiance. We have the power to encourage our daughters to look within themselves to find real beauty, and not compare herself to some magazine cover.