Your performance doesn’t define how God loves you. Bring your performance anxiety to Him.

Friends, how I’ve missed you so! These last couple of weeks have been brutal without my computer. According to my Tech Team, my computer got the big one–a nasty malware virus. It killed my precious companion. 🙁 SIGH…

As if that wasn’t enough to irk this techymama blogger, our internet has been on the fritz. For days at a time, we have been without internet. Kid you not, we are considered a special case with our internet providers. We have “special notes” in our service file and we are now set up to hit one of three towers in our area via radio frequency. 

As a blogger, this is frustrating. Irritating. My fingers don’t really know what to do when a key board isn’t poised below them. So it’s given me more time to become aware. 

To…

        Be still. 

To be…

            Awakened. 

For…

                       Revelation. 

He whispers into the chaos of work, mothering, washing dishes and says, I’ve loved you with an everlasting love. I’ve drawn you here to stop your pace and catch your heart with this:

         I love you. 

Not because of what you do, how you act or what you’ve done or will do.

       I love you because I created you. 

Stopped in my tracks. I suck in deep, how long have I loved Jesus like this? How long have I thought God loves me so long as a try just a little harder? 

How many women base God’s love on performance? 

How many of us are getting stuck in the ruts of long, winding dirt roads because we think we our performance is how He measures our value? How often do we think He finds us lacking?

I look around my community. I see women striving for promotions, to be the next “must have” speaker. I see mothers worn and frazzled because they want to be a 1950’s mom in the 21st century 24-7-career-dedicated-workplace. I see others struggling to control their issues, thinking God won’t love them when they binge…again. 

But here’s the thing…God’s love isn’t based on our performance, career, or calling. 

[Tweet “Your performance and God’s love are two totally different issues. God loves you with an everlasting love. “]

As these last few weeks of my pace being purposefully if not painfully slowed, I learned God doesn’t love me because I’m a writer, a mother, a wife, or speaker. He could care less about the burnt cinnamon rolls, whether I snarky with my boss, or that I failed to control my temper with my bickering kids. 

 He loves me because His Son chose to hang on 3 nails and a cross. He didn’t have to love me. I didn’t do anytthing to deserve His love. He could’ve gotten off that cross but He didn’t. His love for me kept him up there. 

When I feel it most. 

When I sensed his loving presence the most is when I didn’t think I could give it all anymore. Just this morning during my 10 mile run, I gave in and stopped at mile 7. I berated myself for failing. I questioned whether I had it in me to run the Linclon Half. This is when He taught me performance doesn’t matter. 

This is when God says, I see you. I’ve called you by name. You are mine. 

Your performance doesn’t define His love for you. Your belief in His son does. Nothing else matters but it’s something we need to untangle and name for ourselves. 

Tell me, how do you define yourself? Is it through your relationship with Jesus or how well you perform? 

^2-6 This is the way God put it: