Life After My Husband Gets Sober: Embracing Each Day and Healing Together

Hey there, beautiful souls. It’s Heather here, and today I want to share a deeply personal journey: life after my husband decided to get sober. This is a path filled with hope, challenges, and immense love. When your husband takes that brave step towards sobriety, it’s a monumental moment for both of you. But let’s be honest, the road to recovery is long and winding, with both of you needing to heal and adjust. Here are some heartfelt tips on taking life one day at a time and finding healing together.

1. Celebrate the Small Victories

Sobriety isn’t about one big leap but a series of small, daily victories. I remember the first time my husband reached a week of sobriety. It felt like we had climbed a mountain. Celebrate these milestones—whether it’s a week, a month, or a year sober. Each day without alcohol is a triumph. We started a new tradition: a special dinner or even a simple walk in the park to mark each milestone. These moments of celebration remind us of the progress and the strength within us both.

Tip: Get an app like I Am Sober to keep track of his wins and congratulate him often on how many days, weeks, and months he has under his belt.

2. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Communication became our lifeline. Creating a safe space to express our fears, hopes, and frustrations without judgment was crucial. We set aside time every evening to talk, sometimes about the tough stuff, sometimes just about our day. It wasn’t always easy—there were tears and sometimes silence—but it was real and necessary. Being patient and really listening to each other helped us understand and support one another better.

3. Seek Support and Counseling

We couldn’t do this alone. Seeking help from counselors and support groups made a huge difference. My husband found solace and support in R3 (Redeemed-Restored-Renewed), and we are counseled together by our pastor. My husband also meets one-on-one with a mentor/friend. And I do too. All of these meetings provided a safe space to explore our emotions and the deeper issues behind the addiction and created support for each of us individually and as a couple. It also created accountability. These sessions were eye-opening and brought us closer, giving us tools to handle the ups and downs.

4. Practice Self-Care

Supporting my husband was emotionally draining at times. I had to remind myself that my well-being was just as important. I started taking dance classes and joined a writing class, which became my sanctuary. God also opened the door to connect me to a team of writers. graphic designers, podcasters, etc for a well-known author. This group of gals has become my foundation!!

I also learned to find joy in little things—reading a good book, gardening, learning to crochet (Yes, I know it sounds cheesy), going out with friends, or just taking a long bath. These moments of self-care recharged my spirit and gave me the strength to be there for my husband. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

The biggest change we made to our lives was adding chickens to our backyard. I don’t know what it is about taking care of a flock of chickens, but its been my husband’s saving grace and mine too. We have 16 chickens of different breeds. We love to find ways to keep them entertained, keep their coop cleaned and well maintained. It’s silly but it’s been a lot of fun.

5. Take Life One Day at a Time

Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. We learned to take life one day at a time. Focusing on the present helped us avoid the overwhelming anxiety about the future or the regrets of the past. We started journaling our thoughts and feelings, which provided perspective and a sense of progress. Each day became an opportunity to grow, to heal, and to strengthen our bond. Embracing this mindset helped us cope with the ups and downs of recovery.

6. Cultivate a Positive Environment

Creating a nurturing home environment was vital.

• We removed anything that could trigger a relapse and surrounded ourselves with positivity.
• This included changing our routine, places where we used to hang out, and people who we hung out with on a daily basis. Gone were the days of meeting friends for drinks before dinner. And that’s OK!
• We also redecorated our living space, filling it with things that brought us joy and peace.
• We started new hobbies together, like cooking and hiking, which not only kept us busy but also strengthened our relationship.

Having a supportive and positive environment made a significant difference in our journey.

7. Rely on Your Faith

Our faith became our anchor. We prayed together, read scripture, and leaned on our faith community. There were nights when I would just sit in quiet prayer, asking for strength and guidance. Inviting God into our healing process brought us immense comfort and hope. We trusted that He was walking this path with us, and that faith gave us resilience through the toughest times. Letting our faith guide us was a powerful source of support.

Closing Thoughts

Life after your husband gets sober is a journey filled with healing, growth, and transformation. It’s about taking life one day at a time, communicating openly, seeking support, practicing self-care, and leaning on your faith. Remember, you are not alone. This path is challenging, but it is also filled with hope and immense love. Together, you can navigate this journey, celebrating each victory and finding strength in each other.

Blessings and love,

Heather