6 Myths About Work From Home Moms Want You To Know
I get it all the time, “So you work from home? It must be so easy and fun.” Insert sarcasm and a quick prayer to Jesus to provide grace I need in this conversation before I respond.
Going to work in your home office while wearing yoga pants instead of commuting an hour to an office job might seem like a dream come true for most women. And don’t get me wrong, I am truly blessed but the biased perspective and challenging realities of working from home are often ignored by most women.
Welcome to the mommy wars in the Christian realm where our level of kindness is often laced with judgement which is why the current culture needs to have the work from home mom myths debunked…yesterday.
Myth # 1 Your Children Aren’t as Important
False!
It’s a well-known face that being a mom is pure magic. We devote, our entire lives to taking care of our children, so it’s no surprise that this assumption arises when others learn we have a job in addition to our kids. Despite the fact we as women are continually proving we are capable of the impossible, there is still a stigma that surrounds mothers who work from home. Sometimes others forget that some mothers need to work because they have to financially support their families. The truth is I love my job, but I love my children so much more. I love the fact I’ve been blessed with a job that allows me to work from home and work around my family’s schedule. It’s not glamorous and my kids don’t think my job is that important, but they know I chose this job to give them the things they need.
Myth # 2 You Get So Much Done While You’re Home All Day Long
This can be true and false. But it’s a comment I get all the time from other moms as they assume the laundry, dishes, self-care time, and personal time spent with Jesus is done with ease on top of spending uber amounts of quality time with my kids. That’s definitely not the reality.
Working from home doesn’t look like the glossy pictures of moms wearing pant suits while expertly rocking a baby. The truth is, we all want to set a good example for our children and embody the Proverbs 31 woman. She had her own business, she excelled in making profits, structured her time and her family adored her.
This is up to how we structure our time and choose whether or not to get additional help. Some choose to send their kids to childcare during their set work hours. Others like myself have learned to create a work schedule that flows with the family schedule especially since I have two teenagers at home that chose to be homeschooled this year. The reality is the work hours are unconventional which is the same for most work from home moms. We get our work done in unconventional, multitasking ways, sometimes even in 30-minute blocks. I rely on God to be disciplined, structured, and productive.
Myth # 2 You Must Have a Better Relationship with Your Kids
False! Recent Pew Research statistics revealed moms working from home find their job as both a mom and an employee more difficult. As a mom of teens, I would agree. It’s hard to give grace filled interactions when there’s hormones, eye rolling, and loathing rolling off your teen during a work call. I do this thing that drives my teens crazy: I repeat myself like a broken record all day long. I am constantly triple checking they did their chores, brushed their teeth, said their prayers, monitor tone of voice and attitude.
The relationship I have with my teens are just as messy and hard as any mother. No matter what age and stage your kids are in—being a mother requires an ocean of grace, forgiveness, grit, and unconditional love. Especially since there aren’t eight to ten hour periods of being away from each other.
Myth # 3 Your Family Must Eat Healthy Since You’re Home to Cook
True and False. I struggle just like every other mom who has been dealing with same question since Adam and Eve: What’s for dinner? If the week doesn’t throw us a curveball like shortened deadlines, unexpected appointments, then we do pretty good. Otherwise, I like to joke that I am often disappointed with the food options in the cafeteria—mainly because I hate cooking which means our taste buds and waistlines are at the mercy of my lackluster culinary skills. Sometimes I pray Jesus would just open the heavens and rain down manna for dinner (it hasn’t happened yet). We do try to be mindful how we need to treat our bodies as God’s temples and know nourishment is vital for a good home life.
Myth # 4 Your Home is Always Clean
We are reminded our hearts matter in Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Although we have gotten pretty good at taking 15-minute breaks throughout the day to do chores and clean up after ourselves as we go. My current goal is to make enough extra income to have someone come deep clean once a week. Every mom’s dream, right? My house may not be magazine ready but I’m reminded our actions, intentions, and how we serve the Lord that matters most.
Myth # 5 You’re Always Available for Drop-Offs, Pick Ups, Coffee Dates, Ministry, and More
False. I used to think I could help out in a pinch and stay say yes to anything—that I could serve in several different ministries at Church and at school (before we started homeschooling). Then God taught me that my ministry right now is my family and my work. Deadlines, attitudes, availability, and all! I’ve learned to say no without feeling guilty because my relationship with the Lord and with my family is my number one priority in this season. We each will be held accountable for our actions one day. We all would do well to focus on our calling and purpose. And we would do well to remember saying no doesn’t devalue another woman saying yes. Acts 20:24 reminds us, “But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”
Myth # 6 Work From Home Moms Have Less Guilt and More Peace
Absolutely False. I am reminded to take all my worries and cares to the Lord on a minute by minute basis. While I am grateful I don’t have to stress through a work commute, I still lay awake at night and wonder if I said the right thing to my kids, if I spent enough time with them, whether or not I was intentional with my time and words. I still have moments of guilt too. Motherhood is a tough job and our
biggest prayer is we make the right choices to help lead our children to Jesus. But at the end of the day, our children are in God’s hands—they’re just on loan to us.
No matter what the future holds, we can trust in God’s promise found in the Psalms:
“Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22
THE REALITY
My reality of working from home is this:
I no longer have a commute, but I still wake up at 4:30 a.m. to start my the work day.
I’m often disappointed with the food options in the “cafeteria.”
My letters to the janitorial team often get ignored as I trip over shoes and get disgusted with the dust.
I have to be ready at all times to hit the mute button on a conference call in case my kids break out into a fight over the last bowl of frosted flakes or if one of my cats spot a squirrel and photobombs a video conference (It’s a tossup between the teens and the cats over who interrupted a call more than once).
My last performance review included the need to upgrade stained hoodies and tattered workout pants for presentable clothing should the Amazon driver or the Pastor’s wife stop by.
I did ask management to include a required workout time after prayer and Bible study. The request hasn’t been answered…yet.
I am 100% responsible for being the IT department and it stinks.
I am learning to be okay with the guilt of ignoring friends and family when they call because I have to hit a deadline.
I am 100% okay with being guilty of washing and drying laundry in two hours and then taking six to seven business days of getting it put away in between work deadlines.
I am not okay with dirty counter tops – it’s the OCD in me.
I DO love working from home and humbly thank God every morning—even when frosted flake fights are breaking out.
Motherhood is a constant process of trusting in Lord and His provisions. Whether or not we work an additional job, we put the needs of others who depend on us before our own. We give up sanity, sleep, and go without for the sake of those God has entrusted us to love.
When you are overwhelmed and can’t seem to live up to that ideal mom in your head, don’t compare to yourself to another mom. Her highlight reel isn’t reality—remember her world is just as challenging as yours and you both need each other. We all need each other. This is why God gave us a community, so we can be the hands and feet of Jesus in real life.